"My opium lips
On your cracks
And drive you crazy
With ecstasy

*poor attempt at poetry*"

Me: "Why oh why
        you make me crack
        with laughter and awkwardness
        with your poor attempt at poetry?"

Variations on a theme "Hello":

1)    "hi"
2)    "Hi...wats up"
3)    "How are u doing?"
4)    "Hola"
5)    "hello :)"
6)    "Hey hi honey
        Nice to meet you"
7)    "Hey what's good?"
8    "HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU"
9)   "hallo ;)"

and last but not least, my favourites:

10)    "Hello dear myself rohit from India"
11)    "hello good merning haw are you"

 

Attempts at flattery (still not working):

1)    "hi sexy"
2)    "HEY LIFE CHANGER"
3)    "Hey sweet lady !"
4)    "sincerely you are beautiful baby"
5)    "Hey gorgeous ill u b my friend?"
6)    "Hello Miss, would You like to chat?"
7)    "Want to be your friend so I can have a friend from your country"
8)    "Hey friend I like your pic and you are so beautiful"
9)    "Hey gorgeous 🙏
        Hope you are doing good 😊
        I ❤ cross culture relationship 
       If 👧 are interested let 🙎 know" 
10)  "Hi, saw your profile thought you were cute so I'd try to getto know you bit better, worst case scenario we'll become pen pals."

and my favourite:

11) "I like large women!"

"Hello hope u okay beautiful ? Read your profile and I fell so inlove with it and am sure I have those characteristics u want in a man.am a fun,caring and social type of man who u will love to me. lol don't be scared am gonna secure you make sure you will never get hurt.hoping to get your reply as soon as possible pretty .take care love"

(Well, that's a bit sudden. Hello to you, too, Mr. Mass Poster!)

"Hi , you look absolutely gorgeous,atleast we can have cup of coffee you seem to me have same thoughts, if you dont like then i will definitely respect your decision but atleast give me one chance of 15 to 20 minutes nothing more than that, place where ever near to you"

(Slightly creepy! How about... nope?)

"Here i am sitting on my ass waiting for someone to call. But no there is nobody who cares so I continue sitting. Cheers"

Me: "How's the sitting working for you?"

(Wasn't sure if I'd publish this, the person sounded so depressed. I'm so mean.)